So last night was my chill time, although I did exercise I didn’t do anything hard-core like a class hehe but I did take myself for a nice walk and enjoyed some of the beauty that is Waltham Abbey.
I don’t know about you but I keep catching sight of myself and thinking hmmm that won’t look like that much longer or damn this skirt is going to fit totally differently in a few weeks.
I find as well that my mind wonders less when I’m eating well, being an a-typical Gemini I lose focus very easily and get distracted, so when my diet is on point and I’m working strictly on my goals I find the need for distractions much less.
I guess what I’m really talking about here is men, I’m easily distracted by a beautiful or sweet man and when I get bored I need a new challenge and this normally comes in the form of a man, now this time I’m putting it out here that I don’t want another Mr Wrong and for me to have any hope in finding Mr Right, I need to find what’s right within me, more importantly I need to love myself. I’ve had a lot of the stuffing knocked out of me in various ways over the last few years and I’ve struggled to recover from it. So for now I need to be happy with everything I do, from getting my body back to work and to my classes.
For me there is no greater feeling then getting up in front of a packed class and rocking out some awesome zumba tracks, my ladies will tell you I have a blast because I feel like im at home, I can sing, I can pull funny faces but best of all I can mess up and no one judges me.
In all honesty I can admit to a very minor slip last night in the shape of some baked beans and fruit juice…not the end of the world but still a slip.
I can also admit to a low moment, I felt very alone and rather sad last night,I was having a chat with a male friend (yes just a friend to be clear) and something I said caused him to stress to me that he wasn’t looking for a relationship and it made me very sad purely because A I knew his situation wasn’t a good one and B because that wasn’t how i meant my statement, so it’s clear to me after this and a few other things that have happened, that in the most part I just need to keep my mouth shut as so much can be misconstrued or even worse used against you normally, when you are at your lowest and people feel the need to kick you when you are down. Be very clear in life who you can and can’t trust because that can be the difference to you managing to climb out of the hole and you deciding it’s no longer possible to go on and that you have no reason to go on. I’m very lucky in that I have a select group of people that I can trust with my life and they know who they are and I am grateful to them each and every day for getting me through the tough times.
So I think today’s message is to cherish those who cherish you, you’ll inadvertently make theirs and your life so much better